i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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