She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
