Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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