like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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