so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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