do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
