Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
