we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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