this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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