come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
