he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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