I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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