2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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