its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
