I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
