I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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