Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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