You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
