he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
