were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
