I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
