I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
