two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
