i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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