Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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