oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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