i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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