lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
