You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
