Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
