That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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