brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
