these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
sick fucks of a feather flock together
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
