This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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