I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
