apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
