I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
