It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
