i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have fence marks all over my body
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
