Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
