dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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