So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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