I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
