I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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