i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
