Cold hands, warm shart.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
