Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
