Christians are straight up FREAKS
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Randomize
