You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
