sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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