i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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