I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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