just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
