I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
