If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
