He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
