Can Purell be used as lube?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
