If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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