my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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