What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
