Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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