I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
