Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
